A Retrospective
This book can be found in a chest in Caer Adacia. Written by Thresa Vera, it recounts the majority of her life up to her early adulthood over the course of 46 in-game pages, from her origins as a noblewoman to her time at the university of Av'Sal. Particular focus is given to her friendship with Baen Vehmil and Gohri Zed, eventually forming a romantic relationship with the latter.
Coordinates¶
| X | Y | Z |
|---|---|---|
| -1267 | 49 | 478 |
Transcription¶
Before my father made me the sole ruler of one of the five wealthiest houses in all the former Chosen Kingdom, I was a relatively happy child. With him away and my mother dead, I was raised mostly by the sweet servants at our manor home. I loved to roam the gardens to find flowers for my tutor’s hair, or to learn about the history of Avsohm from the cantankerous gardener. Sometimes, I would even pretend to be Drehn Mal'Sohm, roaming the grounds while `single-handedly dispatching hordes of “Frostfang barbarians”.
But then I turned twelve years old and everything changed. My father renounced his title as Lord of Vera and thrust it onto me. While Thresa the girl could dream about being a florist or a drone operator, Lady Thresa Vera was expected to attend functions, and practice politics, and start looking for a suitable partner. My father, who did nothing but drink, hunt, and play games in his free time, pressured me to be the leader he could not be. Today, I know that he was cruel and selfish. But back then, I did everything I could to be a woman he could rely on.
I use that word, “woman” intentionally, because I grew up early in the halls of the pseudo-aristocracy of Ifeihl’s Avsohm. My youth and wit were the two weapons I came to rely on in order to retain our family’s level of influence. I learned exactly what to say to make Green Serpent executives think they were getting a favorable deal, or to dispatch a would-be suitor with a snide takedown along with a vague promise that I would consider their offer after attaining adulthood.
But just before my seventeenth birthday, my life fell apart. It was at a huge gathering in Vera Manor to celebrate Uffeihl Anyr’s coronation as Emperor, and I had planned the evening’s events in meticulous detail. So that my father would be able to appreciate all the arrangements I had made, I made sure that no alcoholic beverages were present. Unexpectedly, however, Hovan Ehrez brought a huge tankard of Ancehlian honey wine on the back of an ox and offered it to him. Annoyed but far too busy for my own good, I didn’t even notice as my father became drunk and showed no sign of slowing down. It was during the performance of a troupe of Tidal troubadours when we heard the screams from inside the dining hall. My father was dead, slumped on his chair with a hideous grin on his face.
The rest of the night was a blur, and I remember very little else. Without my father around to pressure me, I no longer had much of a desire to do anything. A palpable sense of ennui set in as soon as I opened my eyes in the morning and would not leave until I slipped into fitful sleep. Eventually, I started attending social gatherings again, but no longer cared about playing to win. I drank and ate, and tried to laugh, and said “yes” to all of the suitors. But nothing would help.
Then, one day, when riding with a boy (I don’t even remember his name) out by the Primal Lake, I fell off my horse and broke my leg. Although the subsequent period of physical recovery was one of the darkest times of my life, it was in that darkness that I eventually found direction. “Why should I make things so hard for myself?", I wondered. "Why am I not doing what I actually enjoy?"
Although it was hard to think of things I liked back then, one impression floated to the top of my mind- I was fascinated to learn about how things worked. I wanted to be a florist because I wanted to discover why all the flowers looked so different and why. I wanted to be a drone operator because the drones that flew over our courtyard were the strangest and most complicated things I had ever seen, and I wanted to learn how they worked. I even enjoyed becoming a successful socialite by analyzing why people behave the way they do.
And so I decided to use the meager remaining money to pay my tuition to go to Av’Sal University. I was still depressed, but I was determined to get better for the first time. Although the first semester was difficult, one class changed everything for me: Applied Microrunology. While Professor Beryn was kind and good at explaining the concepts behind primal catalysts, it was Docent Baen Vehmil who truly shifted my outlook.
Vehmil (We can still call him by his last name because we had to refer to him as “Docent Vehmil” for multiple years) was a runecarver only five years my senior. While he was my lab instructor, he also worked as an archaeologist for much of the year, chasing leads about runic technology lost to the Felling. To my surprise, my lab partner already knew him when we sat down for our first Microrunology lab. Her name was Gohri Zed, and she quickly became a very good friend. She had been recruited for the school by Vehmil when he was exploring one of the distant colonies, and told me a little about some of Vehmil’s ideas on how to use intrinsic properties of commonplace runes in new, unique ways.
For the rest of the term, I continued to develop respect and just a bit of jealousy for Vehmil. While he could often be awkward and was prone to stuttering when I spoke to him in the hallways, when he began talking about how specialized catalysts worked, his surprisingly low voice was clear. Aside from his significant experience, Vehmil had something I lacked at that time - a deep passion for his work, his field, and the students who might choose a similar path. And while I wanted very badly to spend more time studying and hanging out with Gohri, I was sure at the time that she only had eyes for Vehmil. She spoke often about how much she wanted to be a part of his team within the Avsohmic Department of Science, and took comprehensive notes on almost everything he said. When we spoke, our conversations often found their way back to something Vehmil had done or said.
And so when Professor Beryn announced that Docent Vehmil was leading a small group of students to decommission some old survey drones at an old hangar, I was not surprised to see Gohri’s name already on the list when I went to sign up. Writing my name below hers, I saw the event as a great opportunity to learn more about my planned field while getting to ask Vehmil some questions about some of the details that were still unclear to me.
As fate would have it, it was only the three of us who left early in the morning for the work site. Apparently, the drones were originally from the Avsohmic Imperial Defense Force and fell out of favor when Blue Exodus took over most military and military technology operations. As we worked, taking off panels and detaching tubes and reinforced pipes, I felt something very unusual - enthusiasm. Though I was quiet at first, listening to Gohri and Vehmil’s chatter and occasional laughter, I increasingly began to participate in the conversation. Soon, all three of us were laughing uproariously as Gohri walked around with a drone chassis on her head and Vehmil put two wrenches in his shirt and pretended they were robotic hands. And then, as the day continued, our talk became technical again. I spoke about the flaws I could see in each design- how the rotors on one were too short, or how the catalyst’s location within another’s was too low and should be raised. And then, just as I was getting through talking about how a rotary denaris servo would be a better fit for the WX92 than the current elevated actuator, I noticed I had been talking for almost twenty minutes straight. Shutting my mouth and looking around, I saw that both Vehmil and Gohri were just staring at me. Vehmil spoke first: “Wow, Thresa. Are you sure that you aren’t secretly a 150-year-old mechanist instead of a first-year noblewoman from old money?” My face flushed with embarrassment for a moment, but my heart soared with joy as I noticed Gohri and Vehmil's toothy grins. I had found something I was good at and enjoyed. And I had two very good friends.
For the rest of the term and well into the next, when we were not busy doing schoolwork, the three of us were inseparable. Often, we would go to nearby archaeological sites or to Vehmil’s little lab on the outskirts of town. While we tried all sorts of projects, we gradually learned about Vehmil’s greatest theory- that the slight stabilizing stasis field generated by certain runes on the target they were designed to affect could be harnessed on a large scale to essentially freeze people or objects in time. Gohri and I pledged to help him with the efforts, and we settled into something of a rhythm. Between us, Vehmil was the most creative. He would come up with wonderful, unique ideas, but would not always know how to implement them practically. Gohri was the most dependable. She made sure all of our spirits were high, and could always be counted upon to work overtime and do any task to completion. And I became something of a leader. I made sure our time was spent efficiently, and was always able to integrate the disparate parts into a more cohesive and efficient whole.
We made quick progress and, surprisingly, achieved some major breakthroughs in Vehmil’s theory. It was one evening towards the end of our second term, when the two of us were in the middle of constructing the first full-size prototype of a stasis pod, that I suddenly realized that I loved Gohri. I loved her ready smile and her bawdy jokes. I loved her strange accent and her kindness. I loved her muscular build and her figure. I had come to rely on her so much, and she compensated for my weaknesses admirably. I could talk to others and inspire them, but she was there to listen and say just the right thing when I was uninspired. I could look at the big picture, help others see their roles in it, and fill in huge swathes by myself, but she made sure that I also took time to step away from it and relax.
I had been an object of desire so often in my life before, but I had never myself been a suitor. But it was time. As I stood there in the dingy workroom, I knew that I liked myself better when she was around. And so I opened my mouth and confessed. I watched her spin around and lock eyes with me, and I saw thousands of emotions flickering across her face. She babbled a reply, and then her face hardened. It was one of the most terrifying moments in my life up to that point. But then she cracked, began to cry, and gave me a huge hug. “Thresa,” she whispered in my ear, “I have been completely in love with you for the last six months.”
Then we stayed up until the early morning hours and chatted. We talked about our feelings, our hopes, and our dreams. We bonded over common complex feelings about our fathers (though she didn’t want to go into too much detail). And we laughed a lot about Vehmil, both about what his reaction would be upon hearing about our relationship, and about how both of us had thought at one point that the other had a crush on him.
Like usual, we never could predict exactly what Vehmil would do. When he heard about us dating, he broke into a maniacal cackle that split the heavens, and then walked around the room pumping his fists and shouting “called it.” Apparently, he had seen the writing on the wall a long time before we did.
The end of the year was a maelstrom of amazing events all happening at once for me. Gohri and I finished final exams, and then finished the prototype with Vehmil around the same time. After presenting it at the Imperial Exhibition, we received first prize, and were almost immediately given commissions to join the Avsohmic Department of Science, with honorary degrees. Although I have a huge amount of work on the horizon, Gohri is making me write down my story. She tells me that the Veruhktians believe that individuals are reincarnated throughout time, and wants to make sure that my story is preserved so that she can always find me again.
While I am not sure I believe all of that, it has put my mind at ease and given me strength to see just how far I have already come. And now, as an adult in every sense of the word, I know I can do so much more. With Avsohm, I will help to make this world a place where everyone can find their strength and passions and follow them to happiness! That is a promise.